It occurred to me today that in the Bible, God appears mosty in the form of a cloud, fire, or is referred to as the living water (amongst other things of course). Why He would choose to appear to us in these forms seemed strange at first, but some brainstorming revealed this: clouds cast confusion on our enemies, and cannot be touched or held. It is a presence that is there but isn't at the same time. And, it is a form of water! Fire offers light and warmth, and again, isn't something that can be moved or used at random except for the purpose of light and warmth. And water keeps us alive.
In light of these few points (there are probably more), I realised that sometimes, God is right by us. Especially during the times when we think we can't cope anymore and we feel like He has abandoned us, He is most often closer than He is in the 'good' times. Like a cloud surrounding us; we cannot see because of it. BUT it's when that cloud is around us, when God is so close, that we can learn to trust in the God who created us. Because only He can lead us when we're blinded - by that very cloud that is leading us!
Perhaps this confusion that I am living right now; not knowing the future, not knowing if my efforts will pay off, not knowing if I'll have to leave the people I've only just learned to love so deeply - perhaps this is for that very reason, to admit defeat and surrender to God, who knows what He's doing and has enshrined me in His cloud!